You will find short stories on this site. Most are autobiographical. Some are fiction.

RATS ‘N POT

There is only one thing I fear about growing old. That is the prospect of living through mental deterioration caused by Alzheimer's disease or another similar brain disease. So when I read an article in Discover Magazine, I decided to consume a small amount of marijuana daily. The article described a scientific experiment in which rats bred to develop Alzheimer's were allowed to live a full rat life. Half of them had a healthy rat diet. The other half had the same diet plus a small amount of marijuana. The study concluded that the rats with pot were less likely to develop Alzheimer's. And when they did develop Alzheimer's, it was later in their lives. In addition, the rats on pot were superior at finding their way through mazes. The author noted that rat model experiments pertaining to diet have been shown to correlate highly with human outcomes.

A couple of months later, I visited the green farmacy and purchased a 6-inch-tall pot plant for the outrageous price of $40.00. I planted it in a sunny spot, which was protected from deer. I watered and fertilized it with tender care through the summer. In the fall, it was harvested and hung to dry in the house. It became an ingredient in cookies over the following year.

The next Spring, a friend offered me a dozen pot seeds. Six sprouted. Since the law only permits four plants, I gave two to Dave. A big challenge was to keep the deer from enjoying my pot plants before I was able to. I bought welded wire mesh and built a cage-like enclosure to protect the marijuana plants from deer. I nurtured my plants through the summer. They did very well. The tallest was over 6 feet high. In the Fall, I had four large plants to dry. Remembering the smell in the house the previous Winter, while one pot plant was drying, I couldn’t ask Carole to endure four plants in the house. I came up with another plan. I brought a ladder from the woodshed. On it, I could stand halfway through the access to the attic. There, I spread a bed sheet across the insulation. I carefully laid the plants out evenly on it to dry in our warm and well-ventilated attic.

Over the winter, Duffy, our much-loved cat, died. Not long after Duffy was gone, a rat moved in. We tried everything, short of poison, to catch that rat in order to give it a new home in the woods. However, this rat has great wisdom and discipline. While it must have been very hungry, it would not venture into our live trap for select morsels. Meanwhile, I continued enjoying my daily pot cookies, relying on the $40 plant from the previous summer for the key ingredient.

I had not thought about the pot plants in the attic. Nor have I worried about Alzheimer’s. It seems that doing something to prevent it, has alleviated the anxiety about developing it. Actually, I have no way of knowing for certain, that marijuana affects the likelihood of developing Alzheimer's in humans. But that doesn’t keep me from enjoying the belief that it does.

The following Spring, I remembered the pot in the attic, and thinking that it will certainly be dry by this time. I climbed through the access panel to retrieve my stash. In the dim light of the attic, I could see that the rat, or rats, had devoured all the plants, leaving only piles of debris on the sheet. I described the devastation to Carole, who stood below. Her response was to say, “Gather the corners of that sheet and throw the whole mess in the garbage.” “Throw it in the garbage?” I protested, “Never,! not after all that I have gone through to grow it.” I gathered the corners of the sheet and took it down from the attic and out of the house. Not knowing what else to do with my sad sack, I took it out to the woodshed. I put it on the workbench and opened the sheet to see its contents for the first time in daylight. I was astounded to see that the rat had eaten the bark and even cracked open the larger stems to eat the pulp inside, but the buds and many leaves were untouched. I surmise that the strong smell of marijuana was not pleasing to the rat. I picked through the pile of debris and recovered the buds from all four plants. Our rat, having eaten marijuana, is not only disciplined enough to avoid our traps, but it is, unfortunately, also going to live a long and be Alzheimer’s-free. I don’t mind sharing the benefits of marijuana since it left the good stuff for me.